Golden Period

Thirteen years ago, at the tinder age of 13, I got my first period... at school. It was a light brown and since I was not the cleanest of children, I honestly thought it was shit. I was a dirty kid, even at 13 liking boys and wanting them to like me did not make me wear deodorant, perfume or not dress like my brother. Take that society! I was considered a "tomboy", I just considered myself Megan. 

Oddly enough, 13 years later, I still get shocked, scared and then immediately sad every time I see blood on toilet paper monthly. You'd think after all this time one would get use to the cycle of having a cycle but here I am a twenty-six year old "woman" not.

I tried a Soft Cup today, I also tried one two years ago. Two years ago I was terrified it would get stuck. At the time I was sick, so every time I couched, every time I sneezed, I felt that damn thing. I took that damn Soft Cup in and out about five times before I decided to leave it out. Wait for a light day I though.

Today, well yesterday since it is exactly a minute after 12, I decided to try one again. I sent a message to a few friends just incase I died and no one would hear from me. My stomach started cramping, bad, so I got scared. I had cramps earlier but I popped a Pamprin and it was over. Surely they would not be coming back. 

Long story short, I gave birth to a Soft Cup minutes ago. I wanted to take it out since my stomach was hurting so bad, my vision changed and it felt like I wanted to vomit. I was fine minutes ago, so clearly this foreign object is the culprit. I could not get it out! The instructions said to bare down as if taking a shit... bowl movement they said. So I did, and nothing happened, or so I thought. The more I bared down, the closer this cup came until eventually, it come so close I could pull the bastard out. And it hurt.

For a while I debated on going to the hospital. Embarrassed I would be and with my luck it would have been an attractive young, potential, single, male doctor. Hmmm... maybe I should go stick that thing back in there.

Never agin! I swore, but when I finally took the thing out, I considered let's try a light day.

Surely there is more a girl gets for her Golden Period other than dry hands from washing her hands too much, cramps, and fear a Soft Cup will get stuck right? I mean here I am binging Game of Thrones and I've shed more blood in the past 13 years than in all this show! I should have a servant serving me menstrual tea to help with cramps and make this damn Apple TV play will less blockyness. It's a fucking binge people! I shouldn't have to refresh my internet every 30 minutes!!!

Here's to another 13 years!😡

Megan