My job is so demanding and more than I thought it would be. Because of it, I've had no social life, no time to cook, or even care for myself. I haven't gone to the gym and actually worked out in months. I haven't gone to bed at a decent time in so long. I am so beyond read for Thanksgiving break! I am ready for a recharge. I think I am stuck in the "April Attitude." When Thanksgiving or Christmas (Holiday? Winter?) break is over I know I'll feel better.
I need to find someone. I know I do. I need to speak to someone to let it all out, but I have no time. That's the sad part. I've been feeling dizzy and like I'm walking at an angle for weeks now. My lower back and neck has been hurting for almost months. My brain has been frazzled since my birthday. But I'm trying to figure out when I can actually check on this. I've been so overwhelmed so much.
I also feel that I'm in a point in my life when something should be happening. Like I feel like I'm watching the movie when the woman has everything perfect happening and the one thing that fucks everything is meeting a man she has a whirlwind with. Maybe it's the depression talking. A lot of times when I'm going down I'm expecting something to pull me up mainly love (other times getting great grades or all As without studying).
Anyway I hope things start to get better. Maybe a little love won't hurt me and it'll prevent me from being around people other than Buddy and his friends who really aren't mine. It'll just have someone there not on the platonic side of friendship. Look at me, haven't my last few post been about this?
It feels so good to get that out on paper... the internet? Either way, I'm done, hopefully pinning it here will prevent me from going too low again.
Smiley face,
Megan
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